You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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