Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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