I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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