I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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