just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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