I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
