How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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