I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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