yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This baby is an asshole
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
