2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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