shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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