two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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