So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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