is your mom at the bar?
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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