I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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