are you still at the devil's house?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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