i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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