i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
