He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
