problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
