he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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