This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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