porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
