Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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