She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
