so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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