it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
