She went from zero to smokin in five shots
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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