just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
