He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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