that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That accounts for only three of the penises
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize