I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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