Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I enjoy the company of your penis
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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