His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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