Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
