so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
