So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
