i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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