Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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