we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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