I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
