he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
