just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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