3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
