how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
