sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
