Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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