Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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