whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Are we still banned from the library?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
