I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
