your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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