If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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