One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
