dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
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your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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