Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
