he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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