I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
