Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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