when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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